


I’ll be there for you

by Thranki



Category: Thor - Fandom
Genre: Depression, F/M, Grief, Guilt, Loki did his best, Rain, Whump, mention of self harm, unwilling to live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 12:36:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15510009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thranki/pseuds/Thranki
Summary: “What about the promise? Did you intend to break it hmm?”“I can’t...I can’t do this...”He’s deadHe’s deadHe’s dead





	I’ll be there for you

The pitter patter of the rain was soothing to be heard. It was raining heavily in the city of Michigan that Saturday night. The strike of lightnings and the deafening roar of thunders did not phase her.

Not one bit.

She was sitting in the patio, with her back against the wall. A solemn look on her face as she continue marvelling at the dark sky. 

A hand on the floor, she pushed herself up and walked out to the rain. The feeling of skin against her skin was welcoming. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. The sound of rain drowning out all of the noises in her head. 

 

She flinched when she was suddenly engulfed from behind. The hands snaked around before settling on her waist, bringing her back close to his chest. Her head immediately hung down, ashamed to see him. 

Ashamed because she was weak.

Ashamed because she could never win the war that ragging in her. 

She did not deserve this. 

None of the goodness in the world and the one who always be her side.

The one that should not be responsible for all of her baggage.

Her failure.

 

His embrace tightened and she grew lax in his warmth.

The question was so loud from such a simple gesture from him.

"I had a bad dream again." 

More like a memory.

"You shouldn't stand in the rain (Y/N). You'll get a cold."

Her knees felt so weak. Weak like a newborn calf. Feeling her form slowly crumpling down, he slowly easing her to a sitting position on the wet ground in the middle of the back garden.

Warm tears mixed with the cold rain. Hiding the evident that she was crying save for her red eyes. He pulled her into his lap and shushed her. Rocking back and forth to calm her down.

Unable to hold it back, a sob broke from her and she cried. 

"Why is this happening to me Loki?" She turned and buried her face in his chest. Clutching on his shirt as hard as could. 

It was too much.

"It should have been me Loki! Me not him! Not Simon!" 

Loki slowly pushed her back a little and cupped her face. His eyes bore into her soul, daring her to look away from his intense look.

A hand move away and she missed the warm but not long after that he used the free hand to brush away the wet hair that plastered to her face. His touch was so tender. Like he was afraid to hurt her. Like he was fragile. 

 

Somehow the thought of him thinking her as someone that is broken and need protection hurt her. 

But that was she was isn't she?

Broken.

"How many time had I told you (Y/N)? The past is the past. There is nothing you can do. Not matter how much you beg, no matter how hard to kneel and pray Simon won't come back. He won't."

She shook her head in denial. 

"You-you don't understand. It was my fault! My fault!"

Another thunder sounded from far away.

"No (Y/N), it's not your fault!"

She scrambled from his lap and looked at him like he just betrayed her.

"How, how can you say that? How can you denied my wrongdoing? You should blame me for getting him killed!" 

Anger and guilt bubbling like a poisonous bubbles. Threatening to burst out and rage. The demons whispered thousand of temptations in her ears. 

"I should have decline! If-if I didn't agreed to bring him to the fair this won't happen! Simon would still be alive! I killed him, I failed him, I failed him!"

"You need to stop with your what if game (Y/N). It won't change anything." He walked toward her but she took a step back, the wild look on her eyes rendered him from taking another step.

"What you can do it to move on (Y/N). I know it's hard to accept this but if you tried you will slowly adept to this (Y/N). I understand that-"

"WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! You know nothing!" She hissed. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yes, I know nothing of loss but believe me (Y/N), this is not what Simon would want of you."

 

The mention of Simon's name made her anger diminished just like that and tears welled in her eyes. 

"Simon is gone, he's gone, he's gone."

She repeated like a mantra. 

As if it would save her from the doom of her own doing.

Her head snapped up and a grin slowly spread out.

"Maybe, maybe I could meet Simon again? Yes, yes. I need to ask for his forgiveness. We can live together again yes?"

She look at Loki hopefully. His heart ached at the sight of her. Knowing how deep she was drowning with her demons pulling her down. The parents disowned her. Blaming her for their son's death.

"You want to visit him? We can go to the grave tomorrow (Y/N). Come back inside." He held out a hand to her.

She looked at his hand distrustingly and made no motion to take it.

"Who said about grave? Who said about visiting anyone?"

"But-"

Then it clicked.

"(Y/N), whatever you have there, you should stop now." Alarm etched in his tone.

Every second counts.

How could he not realised that she have a switch blade in her pocket? How can he be a fool to believe that she had stop from cutting herself?

"You can't stop me! You can't!" She whipped the blade out.

He lunged. 

 

He slapped her hand that was holding the blade away, her already weakened state rattled her and she was forced to let go of the blade before she was pinned down by Loki.

She doesn't not make a move to escape from his hold. She just stared at him with those lifeless eyes.

 

**BOOM!**

A lightning flashed behind his form.

 

"Is this what Simon wants (Y/N)? Huh?!"

She refused to acknowledge him.

"Is this the life that he want his sister to live in?!"

A hitch.

"What about your promise to him? What happen to the promise that you will live a happy life and to honour his memories?!"

"I...I can't." Came the soft whisper.

"Yes you can! You can! You just need to keep fighting and accept. I'm here for you! I will be by your side with every step you take in this world."

Finally she looked at him with a teary eyes. 

"I'm so tired Loki..."

"Stare into the abyss but don't let it consume you. That is what written on his tombstone right? That were his last words right?"

"Do you know what that means (Y/N)? It was meant for you. He asked you to continue living. To accept his death. Best the demons and proof to him that you are the sister he love and adore."

"I don't know if I can."

 

"I'll be here for you. That is what I am for."

"Why are you being so nice to me? What did I do to deserve you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nothing. That's because I love you. Your love is enough for me.”


End file.
